Question Wednesday 2: What Have You Said YES To Lately?

SayYes

Well, it is round two of question Wednesday and I am so excited to ask everyone out there the next one.

We all tend to say yes to work but how often do we say yes to anything else? Today I was reading through blog posts and I came across this article: Shonda Rhimes’ message at TED2016: Say ‘yes’ to what scares you, even if it’s saying ‘no’ to work.

After a quick search on YouTube, I found the video an attendee captured. You may want to check it out once the actual video is available but just know it is there if you want to take a sneak peek.

Shonda talks about how she thought her “hum” was her work. She thought she needed that “hum” to keep going. It is through her quest to say yes to everything that led to her real “hum” in life, JOY and LOVE.

It is about saying yes to things even when they are more difficult for us to say yes to. Some of us are great at work and terrible at family life. Some of us are great at staying connected with friends but not with family. Some of us are great at saying yes to helping others but not saying yes to helping ourselves. You could fill in your current situation.

We many think we are okay but once we lose our “hum” we know. Two key takeaway quotes from Shonda:  “The real hum is joy,”…”The real hum is love.” and “Work doesn’t work without play.”

The Truth About You

So why does this matter to you? Take a step back and look at what you say yes to in your life. You need a little work and play. You need a little challenge and relaxation. You need a little family time and a little friend time. What will one NO cost you? What could one YES gain you?

Why do we say no to a video our son is trying to show us? Why do we say yes to taking on that extra project at work always? Why do we say no to going out for coffee with a friend? Is it really time? Or is it something else? Is it just easier to do what you are used to? Is it easier to stick to the routine you have built around your life?

I challenge you to say YES to something this week you have not said YES to in a while and then post about it.

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What Breaks Your Heart May Also Lead You Home.

WhatBreaksYourHeart

Someone asked me recently what breaks your heart? The saying may not be new to many but when asked it is difficult to pinpoint a response. Seeing people homeless breaks my heart. Seeing people struggle breaks my heart. Seeing family owned businesses close after years and years in a community breaks my heart. Hearing people’s stories of trial breaks my heart. Watching others struggle at work, at home, in school, with purpose breaks my heart. How could one ever answer this question with a simple response?

Then it came to me. Seeing hurting people breaks my heart. Whether they are hurting from job loss, or loss of family, loss of a business, loss of a home or loss of purpose. When I open my eyes and ears to the stories of others experiencing loss it breaks my heart. I want to help them. Rather it is by providing a shoulder to cry on or a meal for their family or an ear to listen I want to be there.

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Open Your Eyes, Truly See Others and Show Up

OpenMyEyeshttps://unsplash.com/leadbt

Dedicated to the kind security guard, I met who taught me how to open my eyes, truly see others and just show up.

While attending an event, I grabbed the agenda booklet and sat down to listen to the speakers. There was no one there I knew so I took a seat. As I pulled my coat off I turned and put the booklet down on the chair to my right and turned to the left to pull my arm out. Then I turned back to grab the booklet and it wasn’t there. I looked on the ground. I looked behind the chair. I looked on my lap. I looked to the lady one seat over with a questioning in my eyes hoping she knew. She just shook her head like I haven’t a clue and turned back to face forward.

I eventually gave up and got back up to obtain another booklet. What would one do without the agenda for the night and description of each speaker? How would we function without the story of how the night would go predestined in front of us? Well, I just couldn’t have that so I fetched another.

Then a conversation was born.

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Question Wednesday 1: Strengths

Beautiful Things: Strengths

Today I am going to begin a monthly post to ask questions to all of you beautiful people out there.  Yes, you  I am not out here on my own writing to myself so one day I will return and answer myself, but that might be interesting to do in the future. I wonder how my future self would give advice to my old self. I digress, as usual.

So let’s get to the questions.

  1. What do you do each week to try and build into your strengths?
  2. What have you reflected on or been reminded by someone else that you don’t do so well and you thought it was a strength?
  3. As Marcus Buckingham says, how can you start to “tilt the floor towards your strengths” to be the best you?

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How To Help Others In Light of Pain And Struggle

LIPS

Where does the light meet the darkness? As I look out my window I see the rainbow of colors that meet the darkness. It is not one straight line in the sand. It does not appear to stop abruptly, it melds one into the other. The hazy clouds of darkness blend into the blue and orange hues below.

This is often how loss and love meet. This is often how pain and pleasure meet. This is often how sadness and joy meet. This is often how doubt and faith meet.

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#2—The Importance of Mentors

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

It is 3:22 am and I can’t sleep. Tossing and turning with random thoughts I jump out of bed to scribble them down. You ever notice how this happens at the most inopportune times like when in the shower, while driving or right when you want to be sleeping? We allow our minds to relax.

My mind is jumping all around thinking about the strange significance of my kids’ birthdays to my dad’s passing. My son’s birthday is 2/9/99, my daughter’s 12/27/12 and my dad’s passing 3/2/12. I find it interesting that they all have the number 2. Then I think both kids’ birthdays have doubles. 99 and 12/12.

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The art of saying thank you; why we fail and what we can do about it.

ThankYou

The blinking line on my computer is taunting me. I know I want to write about the hard truth but struggle with the words. If you focus long enough, you can hear every ticking clock and sound surrounding you.

Why do I shy away from writing about the truth of my own faults? Maybe it is because people tend to not want others to know and we don’t want to be judged. Guilty as charged.

The other day I spent an hour long car ride talking out loud about my frustrations the things I feel guilty for. Yes I am admitting talking to myself don’t judge me. I know you were not but my inner voice says you might be just a little bit.

So the words of guilt just kept pouring out. Guilty that I don’t spend enough time with my kids, guilty for not seeing my grandparents enough, guilty for not cleaning the house enough, for not cooking enough, for not seeing my friends enough, for not exercising, for not doing more in the community, for not reading the bible more, for not….guilty for being guilty so much.

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The Stories You Hear While Getting Your Oil Changed

ChangeYourOil

Everyone gets their oil changed but how many of us put our phones down while sitting in the waiting area of the dealership? This is me sitting there staring around at my surroundings and checking out what others are doing. Maybe this all started in college when one of my professors tasked us with doing just this to observe others. Who knows maybe I am just odd.

It never fails there is always one other odd person sitting there doing the same thing and you know what at some point you even begin to talk to each other. Children for those of you, who are unsure of this word it is when you look someone in the eye, open your mouth and words come out instead of texts from your fingers. Kidding around aside we all fall into this trap in this day and age.

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Is Your Super Power First Impressions? How to use it in the workforce.

Super Power LunchBox

Adapted: flickr. Lunch Box by Scott Rubin.

Ever sit around a bonfire with people you have just met and try to figure everyone out? This is exhilarating for some and painful for others. It may feel somewhat like a date, fear and excitement.

You ask questions like:

Where are you from?

What do you do for a living?

Do you have children?

How long have you lived in…?

Or maybe you just observe their facial expressions or how they interact with others.And as the night progresses you can’t believe how quickly you have grown to know these strangers around your bonfire.

Do you find yourself placing people into various categories? Who is introverted, who is extroverted, who might be good at certain tasks, who seems ambitious, who is a great mother or father and on and on.

No you say this is not what you do, well then maybe I am just weird. Well if not please feel free to check out other blog posts of mine that may interest you like top ten ways to give your mind a break.

So now fast forward many years later as you sit around that same bonfire reminiscing about the first day each of you met and remember all that occurred since those days. Were many of your first impressions correct? Why do you think for some they usually are?

There sure are mixed reviews out there on whether first impressions are accurate but I would have to agree with an article I read that talks about how you must possess both intuition and logic. In the article How Important is Your First Impression Really? Kristi Hedges concludes if you can pull in both your intuition with emotion and tie in your logic and reasoning your first impressions most of the time are accurate.

Some may be gifted with this while others fail miserably. Until you realize this is a gift you may not even think of it as one.

How can you apply this new found gift you ask? Well definitely do not push your assumptions on others. Often times we think out loud and sometimes people even believe us. Well that’s okay if you always want people taking your opinion but make sure to give room for them to figure things out too.

So where can we apply it? In work situations this can really come in handy. Do you find that others come to you to ask such things? Are you often the one providing this insight to leadership without even knowing you are? Do you use this to help with project assignments and task delegation?

Gifts are there for a purpose. They are meant to be used for good not evil. Don’t use them to put people into a negative category, use your super powers to put them in a role that fits them best. Build on your first impression and most importantly reassess as you get to know them more. First impressions may be a piece of the puzzle but there is so much more to see when you fit it all together.

What do you think about first impressions? Do you believe it is possible to evaluate so quickly? If you are good at it consider this a valuable gift. If you are not don’t be concerned you have many others gifts that you contribute to this world.

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4 Key Lessons for Teams on Experiencing Culture

Beauty Jamaica

We all dream of it. We all save for it. We all think it will never happen and then it finally does. We get to take that dream vacation we have always wanted with time away to relax and enjoy the sun and surroundings.

For our 15th anniversary my husband and I went to Jamaica and wow what an experience! The food was amazing, the people were spectacular and the scenery was out of this world. But one thing you don’t expect or think about is the impact experiencing their culture will have on you.  Of course we have heard others say get out there and explore the world and enjoy the culture but until it happens, you don’t really get it.

What experiencing Jamaica has taught me and how it might help with your teams or ones you are a part of.  

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