As I woke up this morning I began my ritual as usual of reading the bible. I thought about what day it was and it hurt. I thought about rather or not I was going to share what today means to me and then I decided it may help others who are struggling too.
In 2012, my dad passed away. Today is his birthday. The cursor just blinks as I stare at those words. I think of rather I should write “is” his birthday or “was” his birthday. A long pause and no words even come to mind.
Every holiday, birthday and anniversary are anguish after the death of someone you love. After we lose someone so close to us every word has the potential to hurt us or those around us. Referring to him in past tense hurts. Referring to my mother as a widow hurts.
But then, there is joy and memories and truth knowing that he is in heaven celebrating with all my family that has gone to be with the Lord. Then there is knowledge of how this struggle has brought my family closer. Then there is strength in knowing this loss has brought me and many others in my family through a spiritual growth that would not have occurred if it were not for this moment.
As I turned from the book of Nehemiah back to the book of Psalm today I knew this was the words I needed to read. I know for those of you who dislike Christians saying God led them anywhere I will spare you the words and not say it but I know it is true.
9 Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak. Psalm 31: 9-10 NIV
It is interesting when you look up synonyms for each word, (distress, sorrow, grief, anguish, and affliction) it ties right back to each of the same words. All lead back to grief, pain, sorrow, misery, suffering, anguish, hardship but you know what the antonym is, peace.
Being at peace with distress, sorrow, grief, anguish and affliction takes time and it beats you up along the way. But, getting through it brings peace and peace is awesome! Peace still hurts don’t get me wrong but peace is calming, peace is just that, it is peaceful.
A song I wanted to share this week means a lot to me. My dad played guitar and loved old songs. And there it is again, past tense “loved” and “played”. Old Man—Neil Young
How do you go from affliction to peace? What helps you push through distress?
Enjoyed reading my posts?
Click the Follow Button on the side bar on the main page or at the bottom of each post to receive weekly notifications. Please also share with others on social media or comment below. I look forward to engaging in conversation with each and every one of you.